!!! Blog Walking !!!

Heart just ruptures
As it hears the silence of the moment
Desperately trying to connect
At least with one who can tell
What you are feeling day in & day out

I do blog walking whole night
Trying to capture the peace of mind
Trying to find someone who has feelings like mine
As it scares to be only one with the emotions so lone

Many I see have the same words like mine
Others go deep with phrases defined
Some capture the moment and makes a story
Others just randomly touch you so whole heartedly

I do blog walking whole night
I find tears that shares the same rhyme
I find profound expressions, for which I was once coveted
I stumble upon prayers for faith and hymns of love
I see everything I need too I still am empty handed

I do blog walking whole night
To find words for upheaval of this sensation
To find expressions, for what I sought in this commotion
I take this journey to find at least one to match with
But we stand differentiated by our own present & past
Yet I find uncanny similarities of life in each heart

I do blog walking whole night
To shoo away the blues and feeling of solitude
For once to get away from the love crap, the frustration and the maze of relations
But I find that the world is dominated (happily/unhappily) by only one word “Emotions”

Written By - Ritika Patel

!!! Renaissance !!!

Emotions so alive in me

Had wandered paths of thorn n dust

Have been slaughtered and shunned

Searching for the destination undefined

Waiting for breezes to calm the wounds

Asked him hundred times for the showdown

Every time he said love is the only cure

Moment I stopped to weigh his words

I saw that I am standing at your door

Stunned as I was I couldn't move,

We understood each others emotional tour
The wait was too long, it has ruptured our soul

Now I dont look at windows every dawn

Now I don't look for your sight in the crowd

Now I have you and you have me

With and Within each other
We were from two different worlds
Unrelated to everyone who exist in it
Came together to make our own world

As we dwell in Renaissance!!!

Written By: Ritika Patel "Result of a Blissful Fight with Self - as "you" like to call it"

!!! A Backward Walk !!!

Flipping through the pages of my life,
I saw some forgotten colours leaking from the words,
Flashing lights still reflect from the soaked tears,
Though blurred by the tears once splashed on it,
but the pain is intact in that past forgotten world.

I remember breaking down every time
I came across those dark age of my life
I use to feel like cold steel knife
stuck inside my heart sucking my life

The Errors of my judgment about some people
Cost me my esteem, confidence, & my individuality
Scar of those wounds had never lost its visibility.

I never realised when you pulled out that knife
Restoring my esteem and healed my every wound
Your hands on my scars hide them from my eyes
Your words filled colours I never knew existed in my life

Love for me you easily redefined
As you accepted me with all my dull & Shine
I shared my deepest embarrassing secrets with you
You took them all and burned them with your heat of love

Now When I flip through the pages of my life
I don’t feel the knife or see the leaking colours in the lines
Flashing lights still reflect from the soaked tears,
Though blurred by the tears once splashed on it,
but the pain is lost somewhere in the brightness of your world

Written By: Ritika Patel

!!! When Broken !!!

 

Your feelings as precious as diamonds

Your laughter like jingle bells

I will keep it in my heart

Till the diamonds lose its shine

And the bells loses its Chime

Your words like a musical note

Your sound like a nightingales’ charm

I will keep it in my heart

Till the music stops

And the charm is lost

Your love like a midnight sun

Your caress like a breeze on the cotton bun

I will keep it in my heart

Till the eclipse struck

And the storm breaks my luck

Your memories having every season

Waiting for you without any reason

I will keep it all cherished in my heart

Till the Season fades away

And rational reasons get in way

 

Our essence lost in the sands of time

As my heart laments for the broken charm & chime

How long will I keep it in my heart?

Sand castles once broken couldn’t be formed again

Heart bonds once broken, couldn't be tied again.

Written By - Ritika Patel  

!!! Rage of Unspoken Emotions !!!

Disgusted from my heart
With this natures virtue of life
As I stood in the line
Waiting for my share of Shine

I live with the rules of my nurturing
Morals I walked on, clutching
Dreams I believed on, hoping
Relationships I worked on, Trusting

All shattered with a deafening thud on my "Life's" Ground
As I waited for My Stars to Shine Down..

As I walked on the edge of destiny
Hands clutched me on this ride, so topsy & turvy
I cannot fathom the price they asked in returned
Because of them now I shun my heart, so broken

Laughing memoirs of happiness and warmth,
Reflected through the tear I dropped on my broken crown
As I waited for My Stars to Shine Down

Continued to walk aimlessly
Awareness lost in the illusions of reality
Offering insolence, grudging over my destiny
Hoping for courage to avenge for life's cruelty

I gainsaid the god's game asking for a showdown
As I waited for My Stars to Shine Down

Those hands asked for a filthy price
They supported me once but now they made me fall
Blinding me as they flaunted their own shine

I never invaded others dream
I never questioned others sheen
Then Why, when I am in the dark alley
They flaunt their meaningless trophy

When my heart only prayed for them to win the crown
In front of them they expect me to bow
When I still await my Stars to Shine down

Stabbing pain in heart, life so impossible
Burning tears, vision so impossible
Choked throat, speech so impossible

Broken strength, Faith so impossible:
For my Life to gain the Momentum..
For the Light to show me the Direction..
For the Reasons behind the Broken Relations..
For Explanations behind Failed Initiations..
For Dusk that never reached the Dawn
As I still wait for My Stars To Shine Down....

Written in - "Rage"

!!! Loneliness : My Constant Companion !!!

As I stare outside my window at night
Your memories crawl through the light

As I walk aimlessly on a silent street
My ears are filled with our fighting screams

As my hand tap on my office keyboard
My eyes recalls all the E-mails & SMS we wrote

As I converse casually with my friends and colleagues
All I can hear is our endless conversations & laughing fits

As I eat, talk, laugh and try to be attentive
No one knows pretense & lies is my native

I drank myself to the ruthless night
To stop myself from praying for that one sight

As I constantly surround myself with people
Loneliness plunges in my heart deeper & deeper

As I moved towards his loving care and inviting eyes
Knife of comparisons compels all efforts to die

I tried to forget you in vain
As your love flows through my veins

Wherever I stare outside my window at night
Your memories come crawling through the light


Written By - Ritika Patel

!!! Friendship That I Dreamt !!!

Call me a Dreamer...
But my Dreams are my Identity
I Dream of a Relationship so Pure
I Dream of Someone I adore

Call me a Dreamer...
But my Dreams are my Identity
I Dream of a Friend so Wonderful
I Dream of Friendship so Colourful

Call me a Dreamer...
But my Dreams are my Identity
I Dream of Loving
I Dream of Sharing

Call me a Dreamer...
But my Dreams are my Identity

"I do not dream of a relationship spend under your Surveillance
 I beg your pardon but I was never Taught the meaning of Convenience"


Written By - Ritika Patel " With a Broken Heart"

!!! The Meet !!!

Tears' sliding slowly from the corner of my eye, laughter which for a long time I denied is now all over the place. I put my cup down in fear of spilling the beverage all over my dress in my bouts of laughter. I was in the company of one of the few with which the “time” just passes by and other times its just stops completely. Fun and fortunate are those few days in the year when you meet your old friends.

The memories just come flooding by and you try and catch on to it one by one. You talk and laugh but still you can hardly hear any one. You sympathizes with someone’s beginning of the story and laugh on some one else’s end of it and every time you meet the story never changes and somehow it can still give you a laugh of your life……..and every time it just all come down to one thing the good “old days”.
College problems or office politics is shoved out of the car because this ride has lot of passengers from the past…….. present and future just does not seem that important now. The first crush, the first orkut crush, those volley ball games of seniors (hope you guys remember), steaming canteen tea, chilled CCD, the college corner hang outs, the examination jitters, the fights, the patch ups, the blunders, the heart breaks, the “group Studies”, the bunks, the classes, the last bencher’s party, the late comers scolding, the confessions, the laughs, the tears, the rains, the winters …..

Trying to relive moment of past years in those three hours…….. The smile never vanishes…. No weighing of words before they are spoken…….. No pondering over thoughts on some thing said casually …… No issues of prejudgments or post judgment ……. These are the faces you grew up with …. People with whom you spent the most precious years of your life…… you share a part of life with them which is at other times is hidden somewhere in you….. the feeling of happiness the heartily smile you share on these occasions is absolutely invaluable…….. and somehow no night outs ….. no fancy restaurants ….. no Saturday night parties or family get together can replace the essence of this meet …..

Slowly or suddenly …..I don’t know but nevertheless the hours come to an end. Time for all of us to go back to the materialistic life…….life which changed since those times……. And somehow you have realized like every one else that life has always been a one way lane…… we part thinking or rather hoping to make a stop like this again and soon. The “meet” is over but we are well aware of the pathway from our seats to the door of the coffee house will create and era of its own.
The last argument on the check payment as usual takes place. “Hey! U just got promoted it should be your treat” ….. “What about you we all missed your birthday so your treat right?”............. then we all looked at each other laughed for the hundredth time and simultaneously reach for our pockets……………Just like old times!!!!!!!!