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First time I saw you in the Gala
Dancing in the arms of my better halfThe warmth of his body failed completely
to divert the heat of passion coming from your eyes
I lost myself in your sight, And followed you out of the dome
In that shimmery full moon night
They say your spouse is the part of your soul
I love him from the bottom of my heart but you …
You gave me those lost pieces and made me whole
With your every touch the guilt spread in my veins like fire
But your presence was like a drug, that nothing else mattered
I took care of him, and loved him and made him my life
And then I leave him, I lie to him, I betray him everyday
When I walk into your home, hands in hands
I cry a little everyday for killing him like this
And then I smile looking at your sms of our next meet
Hardly could I wait for that raging passion to began
He loves me, he takes care of me, I know I am his life
But Then he trusts me more than I deserve
He shuts his eyes and escapes reasonability
When I don't reply his calls and sms’s when I am with you
And he carefully forgets to ask questions When I come back
And he carefully denies that I am covered with you
I look at him and hate myself, I cry and I scream
I make myself a promise that I wont rip my self apart like this
Lying beside you I made a promise, this is it I wont do it again
Though I love you but I love him too
You don't belong to me, But I belong to him now and forever
And I left you fallen and broken and crying
And as I moved out I know I am walking over your heart & Mine
Whenever I get late he stays up for me
With my favourite Mocha kept carefully beside the table
I looked at him and his killer smile which lights up
Every time I walk towards him,
As usual he didn't ask and didn't probe
We chatted half way through the night
And then I fell asleep in his arms, happy about the end of my dual life
The morning was clearer than many in the past
It was new and it was better but I feel the void building inside
Which you filled up and now without you I feel lost again
No, I wont think about you
I will stick to what my destiny has chosen for me
As I reached my bedroom
cursing my weakness of giving into your thoughts
I saw that now, I know, for some time I suspected
But I see now,the red marks on his shirt lying on the wash
And another ,
An anklet hooked in a sheet, which I picked up 2 years back for our room
He was a lousy cleaner, May be that’s why
Everything seems to be too perfectly placed nowadays
Is this Why he never probed me,
Because he was busy keeping me from probing
I stood there for a long time
Holding the shirt in one hand and the sheet in the other
Numbness got redefined that day for me
I was angry for his betrayal
Sad to know that its not working for both of us
Broken to know that all we share with each other is just “guilt”
Confused thinking, what we will be like,
when we will stop feeling even guilty for each other
I stood there for a long - long time
Before I reached for my cell
Saw your numerous calls and messages
And replied in few but self assured words
“I will see you at the same place, same time”
Love.
I waited till the cell beeped with
“Message Delivered”
And then I started with my daily chores….
As I felt relief spreading through my last core…
Written By- Ritika Patel
Please visit Close Up's Facebook page and add your stories there and also as a comment in my blog!!
