Its been two months seen I was here
Its been couple of weeks since I felt the need to write
Its been couple of days since I had rendezvous with my words
Its been couple of years since I made them my best friend
Always, they were here always when I need a friend
Always, they were here always when I felt alone
Always, they were here always when I was sad
Always, they were here always to make my tears go away
Again, I ask them again today to be my solace
Again, I ask them again today to lead the way
Again, through them I try to find the way
Again, once again I ask them to help me find whats lost
Again, once again I ask them to help me find myself. Just this once, really find myself...
Written By - The Rover "I wait and wait and wait, only if i knew what is it that I await"
"Why such Drama every Year"?, This was my first thought the moment
I saw the Principal escorted by two of the student volunteers walking down the
path to the Flag hosting stage. I was 10 then and year after year I saw this
ceremony being conducted in the school grounds, in the colonies, societies and
many other institutions. Even at that time it felt like hoax. Entire day of
14th August was spent recalling the meaning and the spirit of independence
wrapped in all sort of patriotic songs tuned in almost every corner of the
city. Even the television becomes unbearable on those 2-3 days, the all sort of
patriotic movies, live shows featuring all those "God knows" what
kind of people working so damn hard for TRP's.
Anyways, the point is even after 16 years I feel the same. All hoopla
about the Independence Day across entire nation when there is not even a single
feeling close enough to the feeling of freedom.
And I am not talking here about the National issues, the poverty, corruption
or crime. I am talking on a more individual level; our own thoughts,
perspectives, values and obligations.
With past years I have lost the sense of celebrating any freedom related
crap, more than ninety percent of individuals I meet are so frustratingly
trapped in their own mind, the strings of overdone values and illogical
traditions, and unreasonable obligations they endure and force their fellows to
endure gets you far from the feeling of being free. In this era I feel sadly
hopeless that the feeling of freedom is far from our reach, we may talk about
it, read about it, endorse it but it would be so hard to fully feel it, not
until we are free from all sorts of strings and obligations we suffer mentally
and emotionally, the self made bonds that we have tied ourselves around, with
the limitations we have self designed and the locks we have put on the doors of
our mind, which restricts us to create any space for new perspectives &
thoughts and close us from understanding the mere cultural differences.
I wish though and pray the meaning of Independence Day should change in the
coming decade not only for our sake's but for the sake of the nation as a
whole. I remember those lines from the movie "Rang - de - Basanti , I can’t
stop myself from quoting, we need to first change ourselves in order to see or
hope any bigger changes to be implemented in the nation, because that’s the
most any one of us can really do.
Written By - Prisoner of Self Creation/Destruction
The story starts a long time ago; I met a friend, little
that I know she was one of many to come. Trying to understand the meaning of
friendship we savored with each other every minute. I learned how you can think
of heights with somebody right beside you, the bliss of kindergarten
friendship. The duet became a trio and the Girl party turned into a co-ed
cohesion. I learned than the first crush, the first blush and the twisted
planning of attention grabbing.
Time flew by so quick that before I took another breathe, it
Then I met my second best friend. The innocent heart bloomed
in innocent times. Sharing the same obsession with than our favorite sitcom “I dream
of Genie”. I learned that the magic exists all around when it exists in your
heart. I learned than Magical world is much better than the reality which was
wrapped around the cocoon of our friendship.
The cruel time deceived again, like sand in my fist it kept
I than entered into the world of dark shadows, at the ripe
age of 11, I saw darkness, evil manipulation and deceit in other pupil
of same age. I learned how wrong the preachers can be, the teachers who you look
up to teach you the way of life are the followers of self image, personal
success and capitalism. The theory of which I understood way before than the existence of these words.
With only naivety in my heart I learned from them how to get
emotionally detached, I learned how to get your self esteem marred and never
object, I learned from them how to push people away, most importantly I learned
how to become a non – entity so that the pain could be escaped.
So long these years were that I thought there is no end to
it and suddenly the cruel time came disguised as Kind wanderer….
I met the most important confidants of my life. I still bow
to time for the mercy bestowed. I learned from them non – judgmental
companionship and acquaintances, I learned from them that friends could share
silence, pain, sadness, happiness and life all the same. I learned from them
the fun, the laughter till tears, the “I don’t give a damn attitude” to “I know
life attitude”, I learned from them the life, the perspectives, the questions,
the doubts, the solutions, the solace and how to stand by each other through all
But such blissful breaks only exist to break one day..
It broke the day I entered the era called “World”. The
ruthless, the unkind, the uncivilized and inhuman. This “World” gave me the
friendship that scared the shit out of all the relationships I ever had. It
gave me the love which had me prayed to never be loved again. It gave me the
confidence that destroyed me. It introduced me to the people who will salute
you if you have a shining armor and throw dust at you immediately if the shine
fades, in order to bury you deep down to cease your existence.
This world though brought me closer to my real friends and
family but also made me realize I never wanted this “world” ever. The neon lights
that allure you to this era when looked closely they are being lit by the
burned souls of its occupants, the cool breeze that gives you a moments calm are the heavy
breathing of forerunners breathing down your neck waiting to cut you open just
to take a step ahead.
Today I take a breather to look into the past, I stand here
with no past, no present, no future. I have no thoughts, no mind and no souls,
a barren land, with no sun, no moon, I do not know if it’s leading towards
morning or night… but its definitely cold and dark.
Still with hope in my heart and faith in my eyes I stand
here with my hand outstretched and palms open, wishing when the time comes to
close the fist, I have something to hold on to which will be the reason of all
that I saw, learned and went through, which I can call mine, which will reflect
on who I was and what I have become the way I have become. I am hoping for time to befriend me again, even in a disguise.
Sheets of white spread across the horizon as far as my frayed
vision will allow me to see. Beautiful morning breeze flowing in between the
strands of frizzy hair making an enticing swishing sound in my ears like
whispering the deepest and darkest secrets of the coastal lines I was being hypnotized
The beach of white sand sending nurturing sensations up my
toes, the toxic fragrance of sea breeze churning my senses, I embraced all of
it and let my soul melt in the peace I was so devoid of for years. All of this
without the interference of excruciatingly painful sun heat as my new best
friends were shielding me form the bright light and gave me the time I needed
to endure the enigmatic beauty I was standing in front of and occasionally soak
me with their own love time and again.
How many times have you used the adjective “Calm” to
describe or compliment one of many attributes of the sea, to make metaphors of
it only to understand life? Let me tell you something, you may or may not
agree, but you would have to be standing on the beach just few yards away from
the angry thrashing waves deafening you with their roars so loud that I can’t
even hear the banter of my friends standing right beside me, you have to be
standing right there under the dark broody sky to understand that there is
nothing in this whole world more beautiful than the vision of an angry almost
beastly Sea, its enticing, its inviting.
There’s nothing more melodious than the roars of the
agitated waves, trying so hard to engulf all of us in their laps but unable to
reach the distance we created.
There is nothing more serene than sitting on the damp sand
with only a flicker of moonlight above your head, staring at the upheaval of
the sea and drinking in the vision of marvelous moments of the waves that it
almost make me want to stand in them and move as they move like a well
There is nothing more knowledgeable then the Sea Wrath,
nothing, not even the Sea Calm.
While watching the calm sea under the soft sunrise / sunset
may help you recollect your thoughts, put things in perspective or just help
you calm down. An incensed sea will make you forget every fragment of thoughts within
you other than your true real desires. The angry waves will keep splashing the
wisdom at you and you will only be able to take it as much as you are ready
for. The thundering of monsoon clouds will help you hear the silence in you and
the occasional storms will make you think of the things you want to cherish and
save over your own life.
The mountains playing peek-a-boo with the morning fog, you will
have to look so hard at them to catch the glimpse of the almost forbidden scenery, that the fog created by your own self doubts lingering over your soul will
disappear and will make you see, what is lying underneath, is as pure as the picturesque
beauty of the communion
of Sea, mountains and the fog.
The powerful display of the hypnotizing beach will almost make
you face your own hidden strengths. I got all of that and more, I had a cute
meet with my own self on that shore, I was soaked in my own vision and crafted
my being as to how I would like it to be, the Wrath of the sea had the most
calming effect on me, it showed me my existence, it empowered me, I was holding
my soul with threads before I reached there, when I returned I was hugging it
to my heart.
Love is the world’s infinite mutability; lies, hatred, murder even, are all knit up in it; it is the inevitable blossoming of its opposites, a magnificent rose smelling faintly of blood.
- by Tony Kushner, THE ILLUSION