Friday, February 18, 2011

!!! Closure !!!

Just recently I watched an amazingly outstanding piece of art – Dhobi Ghat. Though there will be many who will happily stand to contradict my statement questioning my sanity. Nevertheless, it wouldn't change my opinion of this movie.

I would say after watching all the 2010 disasters except for Udaan, Dhobi Ghat was a welcome change. I bow to the ability of Kiran Rao, who embraced her character’s not with the virtual reel drama but the simplicity of Reality.

Though I was quite let down by the negative reviews of many about this flick. Because I watched it a wee bit late I had to say I succumbed to their opinions which I almost never do, but although it did became one reason for me to keep delaying, watching it. And now I completely fail to understand why it was so hard for the audiences to accept the ending as it was, which was again a very creatively unique approach towards the story and again so real.

It got me thinking how as a part of a population with unusually high EQ, we tend to look out for closures in almost all aspects of life, for our own emotional stability. From the childhood we follow a trend “what has started should end”. But realms of reality is not so as it turns out while we start embracing the harsh truths of life. This film, like life, didn't provided any closure to the characters, which I thought was extremely beautiful.
There are plenty of things that occurs in our life that do not give us closure in a way we want, like when things suddenly slips out of our hands, like a messed up relationship, like an incomplete desire or a sudden broken dream. Harsh but very simple truth.

As an audience of our Indian Cinema we keep bickering about “how it needs to grow” “how it needs to offer something more real than just all reel” and on the other hand  if the cinema do happen to offer something different it is immediately analysed on irrational norms, just because it was more nearer to reality. Reality as it was shown in this movies as dreams, desire, passion, love, obsession & most of all LIFE, Yes, that’s how I see life, unexpected, unpredictable, and with rarity of any possible or desirable end.

- Written By – Ritika Patel

!!! Making Love Work !!!

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
                                                                    - William Shakespeare

Love is action  - action, born from the feeling. It is the actions we take that in response generate particular feelings in the ones we love.
To be loving is to love the person the way “they” want to be loved, not the way we want to love them and not the way “we” think they should be loved. – That is the essence of unconditional love.

When you love somebody it is so natural to want to give them, isn't it? But just any kind of giving isn’t necessarily going to make them feel loved by you. Only if in your giving you have made them feel you truly honour their needs and taken time to pay attention, only then they will began to feel safe in your presence. and once they do it will be a lot easier for them to truly open themselves in front of you and they will experience intimacy in their in relationship.

Love & Intimacy – feeling tender, close, vulnerable, trusting, it scares most of the people (specially people like myself) more than love does.
If we do not care to take the time to understand what it is that makes the one we love happy, what it is that make them feel loved, then no matter how hard we try, we will end up frustrated, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated because we will be going about it the wrong way.

And it is absolutely atrocious to force the one you love to behave in the way you want them to behave. To keep venting out the complains and disappointment you have towards them, or to keep making them aware of the things you do for them, keep stating things or consideration you give to the relationship, because this will sow the seed the of undying hatred which will keep taking its form subconsciously in both the partners. Please remember when you do things in love – your only motive is to show the person that how much you love and that gesture of yours should really make them happy. Whatever you do you do it in the end for yourself and not to create debt on your partner.

“Love is patience. Love is paying attention to detail. Love is – taking the time patiently to see who your partner really is and not who you want him/her to be."

  - Written By: Ritika Patel
“From her own experience and extract from a book written by" “Auriela Mc Carthy”

“A big thanks to the one who has helped me to understand all of the above with utmost simplicity, like always”


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