Sunday, May 27, 2012

!!! Arranged Fiasco !!!

Merry Colors splatter from top to bottom, with golden frames of perfect mates smiling at each other, happiness content in that momentary snap makes you feel true matches has a way to find itself. Such is the effect of matrimony sites on the ones who are gearing up to walk through the narrow end of the Tunnel, where life will tend to become too focused... or will it..…

Beyond the conception of personal or significant, the arranged marriage set up has turned into a nasty business deal for the stake holders (The anxious Bride’s Party and the Over Confident Groom’s Zone)

So, in this “Arranged” Set up…when exactly things start turning upside down …..

Gone are the days where in letters and phone calls were exchanged between the parents even before the bride and groom get to know each others names, now a days the first thing they do is check their face book profiles. As for the boy, he get judged by the number of pictures in which he is holding a Budweiser and for girl it’s been judge by the length of her clothes.

This is the place where you judge the groom by looking at their picture taken either
1. at a distorted angle from their left hand, during one boring afternoon, from their 2 MP camera, for which his parents would think their “Ladla Beta” is looking “soo Cute”(auntiji have a closer look) …
2. or a highly cropped version of some outing done ages ago (dude you use to look like that in kindergarten),
3. worse are the ones taken at someone else’s wedding, poor bride’s parents needs time to understand probably that’s the only time guys clean up well, (come on … someone else’s wedding … meaning … single giggling girls all around)… but for brides the pictures need to be clearly taken in a traditional outfit in some studio with a “1970’s” expression, otherwise “uncleji would say…uhhmm kuch jum nahi rahi”.

It is the time when Intellectual compatibility, mental and emotional compatibility stands no chance what so ever in front of “Horoscope” compatibility. Once the horoscope match is done, it wouldn’t matter to either parties if the bride and groom would even kill each other, I am sure the best defense they would present in front of a judge would be “Ab kya kar sakte hain humne toh 29 gun milaye the”, and in front of that even the judge will not stand a chance 

It reminds me of the time when the Maharaja’s use to sit in their pleasure room and one by one the entertainers would come to please him, similarly the 21st centuries Maharaja (Grooms Zone) just sits there thinking the entertainers(bride’s zone) will be on their mercy(WAKE UP).

These are the times when the traditional mentality of searching an Engineer/ Doctor/IIT/IIM Groom creeps in, whereas the girls education comes next to her ability of negotiating with bhaji wala and making aloo ke parathe.

And it goes on to the scrutiny of Family’s education to Maternal uncles to paternal uncles, from how many Govt Services to how many defiance services, how many unmarried elder siblings..

How can we forget the big suffocating Money Bet, how much the ”would be” groom is earning now, is then compared to his age, and then the growth rate is calculated, did the parents ever studied so seriously for their Math exams? I wonder!!

And the hurl is choked in your throat when the Mirror Cracking Materials represent their expectation of “Tall” (this is coming from a 5”7 guy), Slim (Coming from a Square Peg), Beautiful (uhh don’t even get me started on this one) HOMELY Girl - Now what in earth does the word “Homely” means????

Because It is absolutely okay if their “munda” is a womanizer and drinks “occasionally” (FYI the occasions occur frequently than weekends), whose FB wall is splattered with 690 “girl” friends, and never would have tried to cook himself a real maggi, and still you would have the neck to ask for a “Homely” Girl?

And for heaven’s sake when did every guy in this world turn into … wait for it …. “friendly”… “Jolly Natured”…. “Fun Loving” and “Understanding” creature …. surprisingly this is "most of the vocabulary" or rather "the only vocabulary" one can find in the " Groom's about me" field, I wonder if most of the guys with their seriously minute intellect is under the impression that every other girl is just waiting on their toes, waiting to marry Pooh?

Written By - Behind the Scenes of "Holy" Matrimony !


  1. HA HA HA HA...
    ok, why does this seem soooooooo.....err, personal??
    naice post btw.

    and for the reference, pooh aint his name, he is "winnie" the pooh.
    (provided you were refering to that bear who is golden in colour and eats honey)


    p.s.- no comments on the post... :)

  2. so it has started bugging you

  3. Haha...this is funny but true !
    Has all d hoopla of marriage started all around you :D

    Take Care

  4. @Eon - Yes I was refering that teddy bear only, If girl needs a teddy bear ... she can buy it for her self.... she doesnt need to get married for it :P

    @Rajat :- Yes and NO

    @Fatima thanks :)

    And you are absolutely correct the hoopla of marriage is started all around .... including siblings and cousins...

    So when you ask if its personal ..... the answer again will be "yes" & "No"

    I am into it but still not in it...

    But writing this peice was most amazing because I never really get the hang of Arranged Mariage set-up.


Words Good or Bad makes a difference .... yours will make too....


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