Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Holding On

There seems to be no one,
I seem to be alone,
Surrounded by people,
Supposed loved ones,
I still feel alone.

They don’t seem to notice.
I lean back, against the couch,
Closing my eyes,
I simply listen.
Random memories flash,
Of long ago days -
Reflected in this new one,
And I add this moment
To the exceeding pile
Of similar states of minds.
I cry a little every day
on the things I can not change
Things that others find minuscule,
I feel their hurt, I cry their tears,
For people’s dream that go unfulfilled
For relationships that..
once was the reasons of prayers.
This is not me;
this is not what I was meant to be.
Why my heart is denying
the existence of my soul,
Sensitivities I can't describe,
it just jolts through my heart.

I wish I could explain it somehow,
but I don’t know where to start.
I don’t want to care;
I don’t want to smile

I don’t want to turn around
And see if things are okay
There tears make me cry,
when they feel genuine pain,
It’s something I can read.

I cannot even control it,
I don want to feel it,
But I cannot control it,
I was meant to feel it.
I wish that I could show you;
you'd see that this is real.
Because I know that deep down inside,
this will always be a part of my life.

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