!!! Closed Chapter ... Solacing Surrender !!!

Never too late to come out of the night....
Never too late to welcome the moonlight....
Never too late to realize your sunshine....
Never too late to realize what 'is' mine....
Never too late to break all illusions apart....
Never too late to shun the broken heart ...!!!

Though a closed one now, but you were once a chapter in my book
And so I don't keep any grudges hanging on the hook
The diary is filled now and I turn the pages one last time
Before I open a new one and put the past in invisible space & time
With every aloofness I received, Happiness I prayed for you
With your every dark mood, only shine that I wished for you
Its too late to keep counting the hours, the words and the curse
As it was with you the very first time I sent my guards off to vacation
By the time they returned though I was hardly anywhere to be found
But your every remembrance till today comes with a hint of love

A good possibility that you may never be completely forgotten
From the mind, heart, seasons and the tenses..... or.. yes...sometime prayers..
But I had skipped enough steps to keep up with your images
Now I leave everything alone as I would have done ages ago
I have taken a turn and every thing starting anew...
I promise you, never will I let that shadows to over come me again..
As I move unto this journey with YOUR faith and confidence,
Leaving those shadows behind, its a fight and I NEED you with me
I unconditionally believe, you will curve me just the way its suppose to be :)

Written By - "A Part of You"

!!! Random Scribbling !!!

An apostrophe in my script, is what seeks the virtue, in this uneventful journey, which otherwise would be turbulent with presence of character sketches that keep running in the corners of my mind. It’s there where the soul finds; solace from the tsunami of known unknowns, quiescent from venturing in the meaningless and vanity in the face of grotesque.

Corners escaped from invasion of universal attraction that supposedly defines destiny. “Escaped” or “unreachable” I do not know, But if they exists in the neurotic geography of my thoughts, it’s the unwavering reliance that it exists somewhere, anywhere, right here or there, but the presence; though not felt, or seen, but surely known.

I sit at the staggered path of writings, written by whom / for whom I do not know, but still wait to capture the first inkling of the changing paths of the winds, presently blowing through emptiness in the void deeper than the sea .

As the melancholy of the sunset deepens the courage of buried rage & agonize the already blinding vision resulting from scrutinizing darkness that covers the path leading to the thoughts of, my attraction or someone else’s, the end does not seem too far, the anxiety persists in the curiosity whether the end would be “the conclusion” or “the beginning” of the new ends.

Written By - Ritika Patel

Letter to My Buddy :p

In the moment of core desperation of my dear friend and subtle understanding of his situation from my end, he abruptly looks at me and ask "You don't understand how helpless it feels to be in a god forsaken relationship which is sucking the life out of your very soul every moment, that even with clear understanding of the situation you fail to get away from that person".

And all I could do was, look at him and smile with no words to say and no other expression to explain to him that I "exactly" know and when I say "exactly", I mean I literally am aware of how it feels & how utterly stupid and dick headed one can be when you are stuck in a relation where all you get every moment is a snap out of the person you got deeply connected with, that, only after several (I mean uncountable) hours of crying, days of self counseling, and bouts of courage that comes and go as quickly as cold breezes in Mumbai, that you gather enough wisdom to pull back your roots from the ground.... where you find your self respect, your emotions, and your dignity lying under the heaps of dead leaves.

So yes I know "exactly" how you feel & may be more than you are allowing yourself to feel right now. I once promised myself - that forgotten past will never find place in my thoughts or in my blog ever. But sometimes for friends you have to do... what you have to do.

No I did not feel bad when you smirked when I said it’s just the “time”, let it pass as it wants to and one day you will forget about what this miserable moment made you feel.

I had a friend, or so as I use to think, long time ago, it was a fairy tale friendship, stronger than the Congress, blissful than ignorance and more unconditional than my sibling's love for chocolates, or so was my belief. But suddenly I was shaken out of my dream by my own pleading soul, it was then that I realized that my extremely confident, carefree self, who always had lot of friends is suddenly turned into a loner whose only mode of survival was the scraps of compassion thrown at her, as rarely as street dog's full meal.
It was then that I realized (too late) that the mode of survival of that person is “its” sadistic nature and the desperate need of being in an emotionally screwed up environment all the time, as without such drama that person use to start suffering from identity crisis.

Before such time my days use to start with a peaceful smile and end with shrieking laughter with my friends and roomies, but I threw away all of that so that I can get sucked deeper into the world of self loathing, extreme violence, psychotic behavior, physical, emotional and extreme verbal abuse never had I met a person who was beyond inhumanity and conscience –less, but who wanted to understand that!!!

Yes you may think it sounds like a bloody shit hole well that’s what it was, but before you start sympathising with me let me confess I suffered by the hands of my own foolishness and weakness, there’s nobody to blame for what happened other than myself may be because I may have allowed a wrong person to enter my life while completely disregarding my intuitions or may be because I waited too long to walk away…. But very glad that gradually it all evaporated..

I tell you all this so that unlike me you can escape from the irreversible damage and unavoidable changes that a hopeless relationship brings into your life.

When the time comes for you to take a decision, to step back and start thinking about making things better, you will only blame yourself for the consequences But till such time I will keep repeating what I ought to like annoying ads at doordarshan, not because you are my friend or anything, but because you will have one less person to blame, when you will be desperately trying to find one thing/person to blame it all on.. ;) :p

Love ya alwayss

!!! Where is Love !!!

What is the point of imagining love,
Having faith in the destiny and
Withholding your beliefs & dreams
When,
whenever world is cold & stone
When you take the wounds by time, alone
Whenever emotions are shattered
And your soul yet again clobbered
That is the time you look around
To see someone holding you
Or fight for you to save you from frowns
But, all you see is pairs of eyes unconnected,
Figures full of betrayal & lie…
Standing alone, no one to call, no one to hold
That’s when you question the power of love
May be there is power in it…
But then where the hell is love????

Written By – Ebbing Reliance

!!! AfterGlow !!!

You & I ...work differently..
Beyond the imagination & possible understanding of this world...
Just as the exuberance that one feels when they see..
The first leaf falling from the tree, down on Earth...
Though to the eyes of beholder it's a beautiful Moment...
To experience the start of the Autumn...
But for that leaf it was the end of its existence...
Our story is as incomprehensible as, Beauty is, in that moment of Sadness...

Written By - Ritika Patel "In Understanding"

For you & me:

	Tommy Lee - Afterglow Inxs Feat Sona .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

!!! Wishes !!!

Just a bit more grace, a bit more panache, a bit more splendor

That’s all she is asking for..
They look at her as if she doesn’t belong there
They stand a bit closer to ones they consider their flair
Feels like an outsider as in this world she never had a share
Though confident outside, internally
She just melts in the heat of the pain
Just the right finesse where ever she looks
Can she become the reason for some ones’ every move?
She defies being let down with all those who glare
Even though it’s taking all her might to keep the faith
Just a bit more grace, a bit more panache, a bit more splendor
That’s all she is asking for…

Written By – ‘Wishlist”

!!! It Never Goes Away !!!



Picture Courtesy  Damontosa's Photostream

The Clock at my Night stand keeps ticking away
But that "feeling" it never goes away..
The imagination never stops...
And the world is the same as it was a decade ago...
But that "feeling" it never goes away...

Laughter, Talks, Decisions in Profession
Get Together, Hangouts, Celebrations
Everything at its crust, Everything at it bests
But even an hour without that "feeling" don't last
And the Clock is ticking fast..

Looking around seeing those who are the closest
Owning Materialism, most deserving, only the best 
But that "feeling" hovers every minute, every day
And the clock keeps ticking away..

Morning starts with it all around
Night refuses to end without it somehow
Its existence expanding the void, long forgotten..

Suffocation is, when words refuses to define it
And the expression fails to explain it
As I desperately try to find out what it is,
where it comes from and the reason of why it exist....

But the clock at my night stand keeps ticking away
And that "feeling" stubbornly refuses to go away...

Written By - Who else
"Wondering How Long He Wants me to Wait"

!!! Blog Walking !!!

Heart just ruptures
As it hears the silence of the moment
Desperately trying to connect
At least with one who can tell
What you are feeling day in & day out

I do blog walking whole night
Trying to capture the peace of mind
Trying to find someone who has feelings like mine
As it scares to be only one with the emotions so lone

Many I see have the same words like mine
Others go deep with phrases defined
Some capture the moment and makes a story
Others just randomly touch you so whole heartedly

I do blog walking whole night
I find tears that shares the same rhyme
I find profound expressions, for which I was once coveted
I stumble upon prayers for faith and hymns of love
I see everything I need too I still am empty handed

I do blog walking whole night
To find words for upheaval of this sensation
To find expressions, for what I sought in this commotion
I take this journey to find at least one to match with
But we stand differentiated by our own present & past
Yet I find uncanny similarities of life in each heart

I do blog walking whole night
To shoo away the blues and feeling of solitude
For once to get away from the love crap, the frustration and the maze of relations
But I find that the world is dominated (happily/unhappily) by only one word “Emotions”

Written By - Ritika Patel

!!! Determination !!!

I had been covered with mud for way too long..
You chose the same time to gift me the scars of your word song..
Weren't you aware that wounds burn the most when mud covers its host..
Like a alarm I kept shrieking for your support..
While you relentlessly kept snoozing me away..
I stand at the coast now looking back at the sea..
Who tried to swallow me and then pushed me back to the shore..
It was not my friend neither my foe..
People will only be empowered to burn you or snooze you away if you allow them to ..

"Life is no series of planned destinations instead a manifestation of planned determination"

Written By - Ritika Patel "

!!! Renaissance !!!

Emotions so alive in me

Had wandered paths of thorn n dust

Have been slaughtered and shunned

Searching for the destination undefined

Waiting for breezes to calm the wounds

Asked him hundred times for the showdown

Every time he said love is the only cure

Moment I stopped to weigh his words

I saw that I am standing at your door

Stunned as I was I couldn't move,

We understood each others emotional tour
The wait was too long, it has ruptured our soul

Now I dont look at windows every dawn

Now I don't look for your sight in the crowd

Now I have you and you have me

With and Within each other
We were from two different worlds
Unrelated to everyone who exist in it
Came together to make our own world

As we dwell in Renaissance!!!

Written By: Ritika Patel "Result of a Blissful Fight with Self - as "you" like to call it"